


Romantic Comedy

by king_not_real



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Flirting, Fluff, Getting Together, Karlnapity, Karlnapity centric, M/M, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Polyamory, Slow Burn, cheesy pick up lines, competitive flirting that ends in polyamory? sign me tf up!, kinda slow burn? I think?, no beta we die like wilbur soot, quackity and sap work at a movie theater, sapnap disses megamind in the first chapter and I want to kill him for it, there's mentions of dnf and other ships but they aren't the main focus, they're all in college but that's barely relevant, yeah slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:15:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29519331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/king_not_real/pseuds/king_not_real
Summary: Quackity and Sapnap work at a movie theater. It's the most boring thing ever. That is, until a boy shows up. Karl Jacobs, who frequents at the movie theater. Both Sapnap and Quackity want to date him, and a friendly competition starts up between them.But what happens when all three of them start to fall for each other?(PERSONAS, NOT REAL PEOPLE, but if the content creators say that they are uncomfortable with fics like this, I will delete it right away, no questions asked)--Based off of this Tumblr post: https://artlesscomedic.tumblr.com/post/643185594507329536/competitive-flirting-that-ends-in-polyamory
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity/Karl Jacobs/Sapnap
Comments: 48
Kudos: 264





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I noticed there was a severe lack of karlnapity fics on this site, so now I am doing God's work. You may thank me in the form of kudos. 
> 
> (okay but seriously, I appreciate all feedback. so leave a comment if you liked it, I guess)
> 
> (also sorry for the short chapter. Just a warm up, I think)

Quackity propped his cheek up on his hand, sighing, “Sapnap, I don’t know how to tell you this, but you’re wrong.” He looked over at his friend across the table. He was stirring his drink with his straw, a bored look on his face.

“I just think Megamind should've been what Despicable Me is.”

“Dude.”

“I’m right, though.” 

Quackity was just about to launch into a speech about how Megamind was the greatest movie of all time, and how Sapnap shouldn’t disrespect it, when a voice piped up.

“S’cuse me!” A customer was standing at the counter. He was the cutest boy that Quackity had ever seen. Fluffy brown hair framed a round face. Wonderfully droopy eyes. Perfect lips that were moving- and oh shit Cute Boy was talking-

Quackity tuned back into what he was saying, “They’re my favorite.” Bitch the fuck?? What’s his favorite? Had he asked for something?

Quackity just stood there confused, dumbly letting out a, “..Huh..?”

He heard Sapnap laugh in the background before handing Cute Boy a Twix bar. 

“Here! On the house. I’ve always got a few  _ Twix _ up my sleeve!” He winked at Cute Boy, who laughed at the pun.

“Thank you!” he said, waving at Quackity and Sapnap as he walked towards the doors to the theatre. 

Quackity’s face felt hot as he waved back at Cute Boy, “Enjoy your movie!”

Cute Boy chirped out, “You too!” before cringing and rushing away, face red as he muttered under his breath. Quackity watched him leave before hopping out of his chair and looking at Sapnap. 

“Dude,” He looked Sapnap in the eyes, “That was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.” 

Sapnap smiled, bringing his hands to his face and staring fondly after Cute Boy, “I know! And did you see that smile? Holy fuck….” 

Quackity and Sapnap quickly snapped their head toward each other, rushing to be the first person to speak. In unison they shouted, “DIBS!”

  
  


And thus began the glaring match…


	2. Chapter 2

Quackity glared at Sapnap, who glared right back, “Sapnap. Dude. You can’t have him. I saw him first!”

Sapnap rolled his eyes, “We saw him at the same time, idiot. Besides, why should you get him? You could barely say two words to him!”

“Oh yeah, cause that pun was  _ definitely _ gonna land you on a date.”

“Like you would know anything about getting a date!”

More than you, I bet!”

“Prove it!”

“Okay maybe I will!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

They just glared at each other before George, the manager, pushed between them, “If you two are done arguing, I would love it if you could get back to work.”

Quackity and Sapnap gave each other a look before sighing and going to sit back behind the counter. Quackity adjusted his beanie and looked over at Sapnap, who had his feet propped up on the counter. 

_ Stupid Sapnap. He seriously thinks that he could get a date with Cute Boy? He doesn’t have a snowball's chance in hell. Sapnap is such a chad. I could do better than him. If it was a challenge I would win- _

Quackity had an idea.

He poked Sapnap’s shoulder, a sly smile on his face. Sapnap groaned. A smile like that from Quackity could only mean trouble.

“What do you want, Quackity?” Sapnap asked

“Come on, dude, I have a good idea! One that has lots of benefits,” he paused for a second, making sure that Sapnap was still listening, “We both think that boy is cute, right? And we both think we’d be better at getting a date than the other right?”

Sapnap sighed, “hurry up and get to the point.”

Quackity frowned, but continued. “God you’re so pushy, just chill. Okay, so basically, competitive flirting,” that seemed to get Sapnap’s attention, “Whoever can get a date with the boy first wins.”

Sapnap grinned, “I like where you’re goin with this. But what do I get when I win?”

Quackity raised his eyebrows at him incredulously, “One, you’re not going to win. And two, whoever wins gets to go out with the boy, isn’t that enough?”

“Alright, you’re going down!” Sapnap exclaims loudly.

Quackity let out a laugh, “Nononnononoo-  _ you’re _ going down. You are going so down-”

The conversation turned back into playful bickering, George butting in every so often to tell them to do their job. This went on for about an hour before people started to walk out of the theatre, throwing their trash away and talking about the movie. Quackity found himself looking for Cute Boy in the crowd. He spared a glance at Sapnap, and saw that he was doing the same thing.

Cute Boy caught Quackity and Sapnap’s gaze, sending a small smile and wave in their direction. Sapnap sighed fondly and Quackity waved back, the both of them watching Cute boy walk out of the theater.

Sapnap looked over at Quackity, “Do you think he’ll come back?”

Quackity laughed, “Well I hope so, or else I’ll have no way to win that bet.”

Sapnap rolled his eyes at him, “Yeah right. Keep dreaming, dude.”

Quackity looked at the door that Cute Boy had walked out of.

“God I hope he comes back soon…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is always appreciated, so drop a comment if you liked it!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm still on a writing high (adhd hyperfocusing go brrr), so y'all get a new chapter already. This one is centered around Quackity, I hope you like it!!

It was a slow day at the theater, and Quackity was bored out of his mind. He pondered briefly if he should go sneak into the theater and watch the movie they were showing today, but decided against it. George would have his head if he did that, and besides, it seemed like a lame movie. Some trashy horror movie with shit graphics. Even Quackity won’t watch that stuff.

He looked over at Sapnap, who was supposed to be mopping the floors. Instead, he was leaning on the mop handle and messing with his phone. Quackity would tell him to get bad to work, that is, if he actually cared. It’s not like George would fire him or anything, he would just be forced to clean the theater by himself. Though, one could argue that’s a worse punishment. You would have to pick up all the trash people leave behind after the movie. Now that is torture. 

Suddenly, a loud ringtone disturbed Quackity’s thoughts. Sapnap was getting a phone call.

“Oh shit-” He looked over at Quackity apologetically, “I have to go and take this, it’s my parents.”

He fumbled with his phone for a second as he walked towards the back room, greeting his parents on the phone and asking them how they’re doing. Quakcity was a bit jealous that Sapnap’s parents called him so often. He hadn’t talked to his in a while. It didn’t matter too much, he guesses. After all, he’s in college now, he doesn't need his mom to check up on him all the time. Still, it would be nice to get a phone call at least once a month. 

Quackity is shaken from his thoughts once again at the sound of the theater door opening. He looked up lazily, wondering who would be watching such a lame movie. That laziness was quickly replaced with panic as he saw who it was. Cute Boy. Quackity tried to mentally calm himself as Cute Boy walked up to the counter.

  
  


“Hey, welcome!” He smiled up at him, his voice sounding more calm than he felt.

Cute Boy smiled right back, “Hey! Can I get a-”

“A Twix bar, right?” Quackity cut him off, moving to grab said candy, “I remember from last time, you said that they were your favorite.”

Cute Boy stared at him for a minute. Shit, did he go too far? Oh god, he must seem like such a creep. But instead of getting upset, Cute Boy took the candy bar out of Quackity’s hands and smiled sweetly. 

“Yeah, I can’t believe you remembered that!”

Quackity’s worries melted away as he grinned back, “Anytime, Mister…..”

“Oh! Karl! My name is Karl Jacobs!” Karl Jacobs. Wow, whatta name.

Quackity looked up at him, still smiling, “Well, Karl Jacobs, it was nice seeing you.”

Karl frowned at him with mock sadness, “What? You’re just not gonna tell me your name? Talk about unfair.” He gave a sly smile.

“Oh, of course, what was I thinking?” Quackity joked back, “My name is Quackity.”

“Quackity?” Karl questioned.

“It’s a nickname. Most of us around here use them.” Quackity answered.

“Oh.” Karl considered this for a moment, “So what’s the other guy’s name? The one who gave me the Twix bar last time?”

Oh. Right. Quackity had forgotten about him. It was easy to get lost in his own little world when he was happy. He tried to not let the disappointment show as he was speaking. 

“Him? His name is Sapnap. I know, my name is so much cooler than his, right?” He let out a loud laugh, even though the joke wasn’t that funny. Thankfully, Karl laughed too, so he didn’t seem like too much of a weirdo. Quackity looked at Karl fondly. He barely knew the guy, but he already had a major crush. Ew. A  _ crush _ . It sounded like he was some highschool girl. But honestly, it was expected. I mean, have you seen the guy? Karl was like something straight from one of those shitty romance movies, only less shitty. Quackity wanted to say something about how pretty he was, but then realized that would be weird. Instead, he opted to complement his hoodie.

“I didn’t get to say this last time, but I really like your sweater,” It was a multi-colored pullover covered in purples, greens, and oranges. There was a big green swirl on the front that was sorta blocky. 

Karl looked at him surprised, “Oh! Thank you!”

Quackity scratched the back of his neck and smiled, speaking without thinking once again, “Yeah, it looks really good on you. Though you seem like the type of person that could pull anything off” 

Quackity’s eyes widened quickly as panic spread through him. Shit shit shit shit shit. He hadn’t meant to say that out loud. Him and his stupid mouth, always getting him into trouble. If Karl didn’t think he was a weirdo before, he definitely did now. Slowly, he looked up at Karl, scared of what he would see on his face. When he did look at the boy, surprise shot through him. Instead of the awkward face he was expecting, he saw a shy expression, eyes pointed at the floor, cheeks dusted with pink.

Karl mumbled out a, “Thank you,” before saying something about the movie starting soon. Quackity watched as he entered the theater, staring at him in shock. He sat there, mouth gaping and face burning, until Sapnap came back, breaking him from his trance. Quackity relayed the recent events to Sapnap, his voice smug and still in awe. Sapnap was obviously upset that he didn’t get to talk to Karl, but was happy to know that he asked about him.

When Karl came out of the theater, he waved at Sapnap and Quackity, saying, “See you later,” before walking out the door. 

Quackity just stared at him as he left, face still hot. He was vaguely aware of Sapnap nudging his shoulder, asking him, “If he said ‘see you later’, does that mean we’re friends now”

Quackity nodded slowly, still staring at the door. 

  
  


“Yeah...I think so…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like it? I hope so! Tell me if there's anything you think I should add to the story, be it scenes, ideas, or even character dynamics! I would love to hear your ideas!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oooo this one is kinda longer I think, but that's only because it has a chatfic portion in the middle. this chapter focuses more on sappynappy so that's cool.

Quackity and Sapnap had known Karl for a while now, chatting with him every time he came to see a movie. They learned little things about him here and there. Like the fact that he was in college, majoring in multimedia. He was partially colorblind and he liked frogs. His favorite movie was Ratatouille and he loved Monster Energy drinks (the white ones were his favorite). With each thing they learned about him, they fell in love a little bit more. 

One day, Karl comes into the theater with a folded slip of paper in his hands. He gives it to Quackity and Sapnap, who look up at him with eyebrows raised. 

Quackity looked down at the paper, “You know, Karl, I don’t know what you expect us to do with this.”

“Yeah, like, are you trying to use this as currency or something? ‘Cause I don’t think a piece of paper is gonna get you a candy bar,” Sapnap jokes.

Karl laughs and takes the paper from their hands, “No, you nimrods! It’s what’s  _ on _ the paper!” He unfolds it and gives it back to them.

Quackity looks at the now open paper. It’s none other than Karl Jacobs’ Discord information. He can’t believe it. This is the best thing to ever happen to him. He looks over at Sapnap, whose jaw is hanging open in disbelief. The both look back up at Karl, with wide eyes. 

Karl looks down, fiddling with the hem of his jacket shyly, “I figured I would give it to you, since we’ve been talking for a while now. Make it easier for you guys to contact me, I guess.” 

Sapnap blinks slowly, heat rising to his face, “Uh...Yeah, yeah...that makes sense..”

Quackity nods, still too stunned to speak. He just got  _ Karl Jacobs’  _ Discord info. It wasn’t even that big of a deal, but his heart was soaring nonetheless. And buy the looks of it, Sapnap was just as happy. He had such a huge grin stretched across his face it was almost comical.

“Well, the movie is gonna be starting soon, I should probably go now,” Karl gave them a little wave before walking into the theater, “See you later!”

After he left, Sapnap turned to Quackity, face beaming with joy, “Dude! We just got a way to contact him outside of the theatre!”

Quackity laughed, “Dude, I know, I know!”

“This is amazing! This is actually amazing!” Sapnap exclaimed.

Quackity gave him an exaggerated eye roll, “Oh my god, you’re such a simp.”

Sapnap snorted, “Heck yeah I am. That man is perfect.”

Quackity chuckled at that, “Fair point, fair point.”

__________

When Sapnap got home, he immediately opened the Discord app on his phone, not even bothering to change out of his uniform for the theater first. He punched in the information that was on the slip of paper Karl gave him, clicking the ‘send friend request’ button. After he made sure that was done, he stuffed his phone into his pocket and went to get a glass of water from the kitchen.

While walking, he tugged off his red vest and black bow tie, lazily throwing them on the back of the couch. God, that uniform was tacky. Sapnap hated it. He was always cold while wearing it, even if he wore a long sleeve shirt under the white button up. Though maybe the theater is just really cold. He swears George keeps it, like, 60 degrees in there. He has no idea how Quackity can stay warm in just the short sleeve shirt they’re given. Sapnap also doesn’t know how his friend manages to pull off the uniform. Though to be fair, Quackity always did look good in collared shirts. 

Sapnap walked into the kitchen, shoes tapping on the tiles. He grabbed a glass from the cabinet and started to fill it up with water from the fridge. As he was letting the water fall into the glass, he heard a noise come from his phone. He jolted, almost dropping the cup he was holding in an attempt to get the device out of his pocket. It was a Discord notification! Karl had accepted his friend request! And sent him a message! Sapnap quickly placed his glass on the counter so that he could type out a response to Karl.

**karljacobs:** _ is this sapnap or quackity? _

**pandas:** _ its sapnap _

_ I was gonna make a group chat with him in it in a second _

**karljacobs:** _ cool! _

_ Just tell me when you make it _

**pandas:** _ got it _

  
  


Sapnap grinned. This was amazing! He picked up his glass of water and walked back to his room. When he got there, he set his cup on the side table and flopped down onto his bed, the impact knocking the air from his chest. He opened up his phone and clicked ‘ _ Create DM’ _ . He selected Karl and Quackity’s usernames and renamed the DM to ‘ _ Movie Theater Bros’ _ . It may be dumb, but it got the point across well enough. 

  
  


**Welcome to the beginning of the Movie Theater Bros group**

**pandas:** _ whats up losers _

**karljacobs:** _ oh hey _

**quackityhq:** _ we are popping off _

**pandas:** _ its always popping off with you isnt it _

**quackityhq:** _ thats because im always popping off _

**pandas:** _ no youre not _

**karljacobs:** _ no no _

_ he has a point _

_ my mans be popping off a lot _

**quackityhq:** _ see sapnap _

_ karl believes me _

**pandas:** _ karl i cant believe you would side with him _

_ what about everything we’ve been through _

_ betrayal hurts _

**quackityhq:** _ L _

**pandas:** _ did you just L me _

_ karl I think he just L’d me _

**karljacobs:** _ woah _

_ that’s kinda honked up dude :/ _

**quackityhq:** _ what the fuck _

_ are you guys ganging up on me? _

_ I get no fucking respect in this house _

**pandas:** _ L _

**karljacobs:** _ L _

**quackityhq:** _ okay that’s it _

_ karl I’m not selling you twix bars anymore _

**karljacobs:** _ what no I take it back _

**quackityhq:** _ too late _

_ you’ve lost your twix privileges _

**karljacobs:** _ :( _

**pandas:** _ its okay karl I’ll sell you twix _

**karljacobs:** _ :) _

**quackityhq:** _ simp _

**pandas:** _ shut up you’re short _

**quackityhq:** _ that has nothing to do with this _

_ and I’m not short _

**karljacobs:** _ no _

_ you’re pretty short _

**quackityhq:** _ you’re lying _

_ no one likes a liar, karl _

**pandas:** _ then you should really stop lying about how short you are _

**quackityhq:** _ im not short _

**karljacobs:** _ you’re short? Grow? _

**quackityhq:** _ okay you know what? _

**pandas:** _ what? _

**quackityhq:** _ I’m gonna say it _

**pandas:** _say it. bet you won’t_

**quackityhq:** _ oh i’m gonna say it. _

_ You guys _

_ are literally _

_ d o g w a t e r _

**karljacobs:** _ oh my god he said it _

**pandas:** _ he literally said it _

**quackityhq:** _ okay but seriously I have to go _

_ I have an essay due tonight and I haven’t even started _

**karljacobs:** _ wait so do I _

_ oh my god _

_ I completely forgot _

**pandas:** _ F _

_ Imagine forgetting to do homework _

_ Couldn’t be me _

**quackityhq:** _ don’t you have a programming assignment due today? _

**pandas:** _ wait shit _

_ okay bye guys _

**karljacobs:** _ asdfghjjhgfhjjasaj _

**quackityhq:** _ idiot _

  
  
Sapnap haphazardly dropped his phone onto his bed and made his way over to his computer desk. He sat down, waiting for his computer to power on. He can’t believe he forgot about it. Thank god Quackity reminded him, or else he wouldn’t have done it at all. He has no idea how Quackity manages to remember both Sapnap’s school work  _ and _ his own. That guy was a freaking lifesaver, no matter how much Sapnap likes to mess with him. He doesn’t know what he’d do without his friend. Probably get kicked out of college.

TLDR; Quackity fucking rules.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *youtuber voice*: If you liked this chapter, make sure to SMASH that kudos button and leave a comment below!!


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